Life

So this week has been a emotionally hard one. I just feel so numb right now. I don't know what to think about life anymore. I am going to be seeing a new therapist on Monday and I don't know what to think about that. Soon I won't be able to see my other therapists and I feel so sad about that but coming to grips with it now. I think I will always have a hole in my heart for them, they will always be there just like Kate McGrayel. I wish I knew what happened to her, she just vanished from life. I still remember that last day I spoke to her at the park in Bloomington. She was so different, starving herself, asked me about bipolar disorder and told me she was reading a book I was reading. I just didn't think she would disappear. I wish she would reappear into my life. I want to help her. She told me that if she ever strayed from God I should help her but I cannot help her if I don't know where she is. I feel like she could be in Indianapolis and I wouldn't know it. I just pray that she is ok. So many people have come and gone from my life, its no wonder I don't really reach out for human contact anymore. I wish that someone would come into my life that would stay forever and love me. I just am tired of being alone. I want to share my life with someone, I feel so empty right now. I don't feel like I am really alive, I am just doing life. I thought I would have a family by now. I really thought I would be different than I am. I don't like who I am right now but I guess I am stuck with it. So anyway I will go to bed tonight and pray that God might bring people into my life that will change my life for the good.