Summer camp

There are so many struggles in every life. I need just a little hope that life is going to be different for me. I am trying to go through my day smiling because they say fake it till you make it but my mind keeps thinking about how people let me down and how lonely I feel. In this big world full of so many people and things to do why do I feel so alone? This summer was one of the hardest summers of my life. I worked at a camp for children with disabilites but they taught me so much. Mostly they taught me that everyone is important no matter what. I miss camp so much. There was no judgement, you were who you were and that was good enough. In the beginning I thought I had to be perfect, I thought I had to be the perfect leader that had everything together but at the end of camp I realized that it didn't matter how imperfect I was as long as I was trying my hardest. Yes, I was a leader and a good one but that didn't exempt me from lifes ups and downs. Now, as I walk through this really hard time in my life I am trying to hold onto the love and connection I felt at camp. I know all those people still care about me but in this world by myself away from camp I don't feel love or connected. How can I get back that feeling of people caring? I felt alive at camp. My hope is that I will feel that love somehow here in the real world.