Bye to other therapist.

Today I said bye to my other therapist, Becca. It was hard but not as hard as it was saying bye to Ciara. I didn't cry but I think that was because I already cried so much saying bye to Ciara so I was conditioned. I am going back on Wednesday morning to pick up my art from Ciara. I will see her again. I am glad but I hope I don't cry again. I know it is a good thing that I am being transferred to a different therapist who can provide me more care and a different type of therapy. Art therapy is going to be good for me. We talked about what we remembered from therapy this year. We talked about the summer and how I made it through the whole summer camp experience/job with their help. Becca talked about when I first saw her and how they told her that she would be a good fit for me. They were right. She really understood me. I hope this new therapist can understand me on that level. We talked about the hospital stays and runs. How we laughed sometimes when it was hard. I don't know today just seemed unreal in a way. She said its not forever and I can come back in the future when I have some things more under control. I am beginning to believe that this could be a new step in my future that is good. I didn't think I would say that but I am. I thought I had to stay in school to continue therapy with them, which you do have to be a student but now I am free to not be in school , to take a break. I will still have a therapist. I am hoping that this new step in my life can be a good step. Where I find a full time job, start playing music again, teach piano and swimming, go swimming, learn to love myself and life to the fullest. right now I don't feel that I love life. I told Becca that I felt like we had a friendship, she felt that way too. She gave me a card that she made that had a orange sky with clouds on it and inside there are clouds in a blue sky. The idea came from Ciara when she told me that people will tell you that the sky is orange but really the sky is blue. Meaning that when people tell you that you are no good, or in the way, or anything else that people/society makes you believe then you remember that its not true and remember what Becca and Ciara believe. They believe that I am worth it, a kind person, very relisant, compassionate, they just believe that I am overall good. I need to remember and believe that. My year with them has helped me believe it just a little bit more than I believed last year. I now have two people I can think about when I need to think about positive people in my life. They will always be in my heart and they said I will be in theirs. Its interesting how such a relationship can form when people really care about each other. I hope to have more relationships like this in my life. I just have to believe that it is possible.